上上下下
忐忑
歲月時光生命不等人，
心裡想著的改革 夢想的旅途 才剛剛開始
特別特別忐忑 坎坷 不安 失慌
我知道 是萬事起頭難的起步
我可愛的心臟 你可真的要堅持著 可以哭但千萬別放棄
即使 我自己已經把自己封鎖成哭不出的性格
一點都不好
堅持太久太多的 女孩
不會哭的女孩
無法把悲傷排除
她比誰都需要愛關懷
可是這是別人永遠無法理解 也會被當成笑話的事情
漸漸地 她沉默了 把淚咬破嘴角一次也不縱容自己再脆弱的落淚
有誰懂了？
心事心煩總是特別多
反問自己時 卻找不著理由地連自己也可笑可恨自己了
生活新起步 需要比常人更多時間的適應期
心裡比任何人都渴望被聆聽被關懷
卻自己總是做著別人心中的那個自己想要的角色
因為我知道這一些種種的所有感受真的非常難受
在自己身邊有著這樣角色的 也就只是自己
想起來 生命還挺諷刺的
去去離離地
我適應了 離去
畢竟到頭來的剩下的永遠只是自己和家人
骨子裡強烈想要讓家人開心不受苦
有些時候 會任性
我總是用自己有能力的方式然他們開心
讓他們知道我的真實想法
我的內心
我那份心
在我最最需要雙耳朵時
剩下的是自己 和 想法
所以我也適應了
不敢去渴望期待他人的回頭關心
所以在所有事情裡
小小舉動我總會特別特別感覺自信感恩惜福
每一次次地不斷向人道謝
因為我從來不敢想過自己 可以有這麼卑微一點的福分
內心感受
常常被自己吞進去
這是為什麼 很多時候 我真的可以自己跟自己呆在一起
疼疼自己 告訴自己我真的很好很好很好了 是最棒的
我總是比昨日的自己更加更加地好了
日子也就一天天地有著全新的挑戰和現實感
告訴自己 我每一天都在進步 真的很棒
只要再堅持一點點
真的就可以越來越靠近夢想
一年 兩年地 我一定會達成
我大大可以選擇天天同樣循環地生活著 重複著 同樣的事情
讓生命生活安穩 沒煩惱
簡簡單單 吃喝睡工作 相愛相處結婚生子 眾人的未來
可 內心總是不允許 身體也會反抗 不讓自己這樣做
青春 夢想 不能就這樣被埋沒
這一點 無論心智身心上都顯得格外抗拒
無論如何都要達到 盡我所能地去達成 哼也不哼地至少我沒有放棄嘗試過
對於部落格這一篇小小經營地興趣 分享 熱誠 想法區，
所謂地改革 當然也不是一日兩日的事情
只是有了起步個人的想法
矛盾著 糾結著
就讀旅遊系的我 旅遊景點 道地美食
把最原始的元素純真純樸的文化人情給所謂大賣出去
把傳統美食文化 美德科技化 大勢宣揚
問問內心 問問自己
和貴人偶然之下聊到這話題
讓原本在我心裡有一絲微微的不太尋常的內心想法
逐漸浮面 算是正式正面地去思考著問題
在先進的社會科技上
任何人事物只要被“網絡襲擊”
品質 態度 目的 難免會失他原有的風格風味而去配合符合眾人
商業科技化
真誠美德 便逐漸遺失
或許這誤點也是我從新開始寫部落格的出發點
變得難免會在意號碼 數字 等等機械科技化的出發點
而迷失了原本在自己身上與他人的不同點
謙虛卻有些小自信地誠懇說
由第一次接觸以及寫部落格的經驗 出發點 感觸
都非常純粹地 只是想把偶爾舒舒服服地讓自己
把心裡想的 腦子想分享點子 都記載下來
簡單卻讓我有著天大的滿足和成就感
我總會看回自己寫過的部落格
每次都會會驚訝地想著佩服著當時寫著某某一片部落格的自己到底有著什麼樣的心情
慢慢品嚐 細細體驗 深深感受
這是我最最純真的態度
天賜的細心細膩感
讓我對生活總是有著特殊的體驗
也曾經由那時到現在 一旦只要寫些關於內心最真的感受
坦然真誠地表態自己
非常驚訝驚喜地 會收到貴人讓我感動他們的想法他們的感謝
說讀著我寫著一篇篇這樣的文章
讓他們感覺看個過癮 彷彿狠狠地
大聲地把自己內心無法表達的感受也吶喊喧嘩的釋放著出來
小小的自我肯定地說
那是我自己感覺舒服簡單 非常個人風格儀態 的肯定
因此也是獲得貴人窩心眷顧
稱不上自己是永遠任何影響力的某某人物
我只是最最真實坦然面對自己的單純自己
內心不願就此把自己的感受好像電腦系統這樣漸漸忘記 忘懷 淡忘
是人類的自己 和其他人一樣有著自己的感受缺點人情
總是會犯下錯誤 變得狹窄黑暗 胡思亂想地擔憂著
部落格風格 偶爾有些分享感受
卻近期考慮到現實狀況 文化美德變得商業化
因為大多人做著一樣的事情 去著一樣的地方 所謂的“潮流”景點
可怕地把當地生活水準瘋狂地提升 卻也同時把他們最原始的態度給改變扭曲
負面影響力無限巨大 生態生活純樸平衡究竟去了哪裡？
看似無人曉得也無需關懷的事情
長遠性質的看下去
剩下的只會是傷害和負面問題 遺失文化 扭曲美德
種種惡習
很多事情 一開始就不應該以那樣負面的表態下開始
事情漸漸演變成的結局 到事情惡化了才來懺悔
以身作則
凡事從心開始 從自己的日常作息開始
這也是部落格正在縮變的過程中
盡我所能地學習 慢慢地練習著 拿捏著平衡點
不以數字為主 不再把純樸元素大眾化地宣傳 讓生活生態平衡地過著不被打擾
同時提升自己的個人品質 心態 想法
音樂靈魂 舞觸人生
心靈體驗
心跳著
告訴自己 一切從新開始
坦然 真誠 熱誠 隨緣
Life are harsh and perfect at the same time.
Life goes on.
Never stop thinking and concern,
or even re-evaluate of my view for life and situations.
At the beginning stage of living as an adult life,
things never easy when you finally decided to get away from your comfort zone.
My dear heart, please stay strong and we're gonna do all this together no matter how worse is it,
at least we tried and never give up for better one.
No longer a cry baby, and being transform into young lady who forget how to cry;
even she's the one need most of the love and care,
reality life.
The only thing for her is to pushing hard even it might hurt,
toughly consistent maintaining alone this journey to dream where it will only get better.
Who get it?
I'm the only one always there for myself.
Individuals have problems and end-less negativity to handle and fight off,
did your heart could easily spell it out why are you experience all these of negative feeling?
Or you didn't even realize anything at all?
Entering into a brand new stage of life,
the only thing I need now is just time to wake me mentally and physically.
Never expect someone in your imagination to be real and stand with you,
be strong and you're the only hero no matter how bad and harsh the situation could be.
Life are full of sarcastic elements.
Human comes and go,
few years back I felt emotional and pathetic whenever it happen again and again.
As time goes on, life had taught me hard in this.
To cope with reality life.
Those with me, only love and family.
Always feel super thankful even it's a super normal things for others,
I feel blessed all the time, cause I never ever expect to deserve that simple care from anyone.
Cause I'm just an ordinary girl who live her life easily,
no dramatic scenes, only love and fate.
There's always time when I keep my idea pause at my throat and keep it back,
that's why I always enjoy time spend alone,
where I can totally feel free and listen to my heart melody.
I'm only getting better and better than the me from yesterday,
and praise and cheer up for myself where I always doing good and better than who I am yesterday.
The only thing to consistently is to improve every day,
never give up, get even closer to my dream no matter how long is it.
The choice are always on me,
either to live ordinary as where people are doing it repeatably for survival and stable life.
Live for life, nomad life with no spark in life.
The inner voice of me, physically and mentally never allow me in doing so,
at least I never stop doing it, consistently keep on moving and do it.
Transforming my blog,
again it is just in the very beginning idea of planning it.
Changing over-commercialize way of blogging method.
Struggling and dilemma before making final decision.
Graduate tourism student,
destination, cultural, ethnic, heritage, human relations...
Elements of tourism to sustain this industry.
Any intention of technology over promoting for visitation and arrival,
honestly ask and speak to my heart.
Have some long catch up talking with someone,
finally point out feeling and intention or should said thinking of mine to protect sustainability,
and not to over expose natural beauty of authenticity and
originality of every places and human sense of touch.
Scary huge demand of peoples due to overwhelmed publicity,
destroy nothing but everything from the originality.
To concern and emphasize in sustainability never smooth and easy.
As a human being,
people make mistake just like for some past time,
intentionally might run off track that just emphasize and taking good care of individuals good.
And I get lost and stuck in dilemma in few,
where make me forget my uniqueness and specialty in me given by my love one and God.
Confidently,
sharing real emotional and thinking of thoughts always my stand out point.
I feel comfortable and natural sharing thoughts and personal feeling,
where I got words from others for thank you me for the post,
where for me I'm just sharing what in my mind.
At least, that's me.
I'm an ordinary human being,
not any sort of influencer.
Here in my little piece of land to share my feeling and thoughts.
Everything start from basic,
start from my heart, start doing it by me.
This is the point of me,
for a better version of me in life.
Never give up trying for best practices to maintain sustainable stability.
Achieve higher self-achievement.
Music in soul, Dancing in movement,
Psychology thoughts and personal feeling in life.
Heart beating every second,
telling me that I'm still alive and be grateful with it.
Be Real Honest Passion Fate Love
❥♒ maymaybeby.blogspot.my ♔ ░ ♥
Appreciate, Stay Blessed.
珍惜，感恩。
Love,
May.
媄鏸.
媄鏸.
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